The Origin of a Name

The first house I can remember living in with my mom was an old farm house at the top of a ridge. There was quite a bit I loved about that place and the surrounding land. But my absolute favourite part about living there was watching storms roll in. It gave my mother fits, because I would pop the screen out of my bedroom window and crawl out onto the roof of the back porch; she was convinced I was going to fall through and break my neck.

It was the perfect spot for storm watching, though. I could see for miles over the surrounding hills, so I could watch the storms for quite a goodly while before they got too close. It was breath taking, awe inspiring and absolutely beautiful. Gigantic dark, roiling thunderheads slowly devouring the sky and shadowing the land, the horizon blurred by torrential rain and best of all, the lightning lashing out in searing flashes, creating incredible images of shadow and light. Far from being frightened by this fierce display of nature, I was always filled with excited energy. It was invigorating.

From the first moment I’d feel that shift in the air that warned of a change in weather, I’d also feel the beginnings of a happy buzz. I’d have no choice but to run, leap and dance, whooping with delight, just to vent the energy that began to fill me. And when the wind would bring that first cool whiff of rain and ozone, I’d stop and breathe deep; as deep as I possibly could, just at the edge of the point where inhaling any further would begin to hurt, and then I’d hold that breath for as long as I could. I’d let it out with a whoosh, with a holler of pure joy, and begin to race around again.

It was only a healthy respect for the very real danger posed by the lightning that would send me back indoors, albeit reluctantly and with much disappointment. I always wanted to stay out in the wind and rain, reveling in the sheer power of nature surrounding me. Every peal of thunder only heightened my delight, and even more than simply being outside, I wanted to be in the storm. I wanted to fly through the clouds, dance with the lightning and bathe in the rain.

I’ve never lost that joy, or that desire. Nor does it always have to be huge spectacular storms that awaken it. A simple rain shower still fills me with the urge to run (or stay) out and dance in it.

Then there’s the time immediately after a storm or shower. One might think that, given how much I enjoy the storms themselves, that having them dissipate/pass on would be a disappointment. But this is far from the case. It’s a calmer sort of energy, the kind that makes me want to slow down and just breathe, to take in the scents of the surrounding land and reaffirm my connections with the Earth and the people I love. I become grounded once more, centred, but revitalised.

For me, the entire experience is very much a spiritual one. It may seem like chaos, but all the elements are together in their own harmony, intertwined. Chaos and order, destruction and creation, death and life.

This is where I get the name Stormshadow from. For some, it may seem to have ominous connotations; indicate a brooding darkness, anger and negativity. This couldn’t be further from the truth. For me, the name is the best way I can distill into simple words a celebration of and joy in life. It feels right; feels like me.